If you’ve ever wondered what a movie staring God as a stalking Rube Goldberg serial killer then “God’s Not Dead” is the movie for you. This movie makes so many blaring generalities, stereotypes, and assumptions about life and other religions you can pretty much guarantee that the writers all voted for Trump. I decided to take a peak into the orgy of self absorbed, guilt mongering, bigotry that is the movie “God’s Not Dead” and report my findings.
Mad powerpoint skills from a college freshman
Summary: First and foremost, lets dive into what this movie is all about with a quick summary. Don’t worry, it wont be too lengthy, it’s a Christian movie so it’s pretty formulaic and predictable. The movie is about a kid named Josh Weaton (pictured above), a freshman in college, who is in a philosophy class with professor Kevin Sorbo.
Sorbo is the embodiment of a hate mongering, douchebag, elitist atheist who goes out of his way to tell his students to denounce religion. Weaton isn’t putting up with his shit, refuses to write “God is Dead” on a piece of paper, at Sorbo’s demand which sparks a debate the spans the rest of the movie pitting Weaton against Sorbo.
He didn’t know god had tenure
Additionally there’s a side story about some journalist lady who’s dating an even douchier Dean Cain (who’s mom is also in the mix as a super old lady with alzheimer’s) and finds out she has cancer. Oh yeah, Dean Cain is some kind of TV personality, not really relevant, just meaningless details here.
This picture pretty much sums it all up
The last thread of this ugly Christmas sweater is this Pastor that continuously fails to get on the road with his church missionary from Africa, he serves as the tool of divine murder later on. We go through the movie following these bland characters until they all end up at the Christian music group concert “the Newsboys”. You can always read more about the story, but I caution you as it is a sporadic and painfully boring mess. This is about as much as you need to know.
But you don’t have to take my word for it
So what’s the point: This movie gives you an idea of what life as a closet racist, self hating, devil fearing, ultra Christian is like. Here are the highlights.
- Everything, everywhere, is always about religion
How often would you say religion comes up in your day? If you answered all the time you’re either living in the middle east, or in a right wing Christian movie. This movie goes out of it’s way to illustrate how religion, specifically the judeo Christian variety, is forced down everyones throat and either accepted by the good, or rejected by the personification of serpent people. The main character interacts with others that are either completely on board with making religion every part of their waking lives, or have the same conviction about the opposite, trying their dammdest to make sure you know they downright hate religion.
I’ve got nowhere else to go!
The movie goes to great lengths to insert ultra conservative “celebrities” like the duck dynasty guy (no, I don’t know his name, or which specific one, and I refuse to look it up) who is interviewed while walking out of a church, or the Christian “rock” group “The Newsboys” who are also interviewed before their concert and sway the evil atheist journalist to pray with them before their show.
Merica and Jesus
This theme is repeated at the university, where no self respecting philosophy professor would bring up personal beliefs, Professor Sorbo downright tells his students to accept the belief that God is dead based on a very out of context and incomplete Nietzsche quote. Even when Josh stands up to his professor, his girlfriend is super pissed about it and tells him to get over it so he can get a good grade.
All I ask is that you denounce religion and we can get on with the lecture
The reality: This amount of religious fervor would get you punched in the face. Nobody wants to be beat in the face with fanatical anything, these people are considered quite rude, or members of the Tea Party. Additionally, teachers get fired for pulling shit like this, journalists get fired for having shitty interviews, and students fail when they pursue pointless additional work that takes them away from their normal assignments.
- Atheist = Evil Asshole
The world really likes to divide things into a good and evil, or black and white perspective on things. It’s neat and easy. This movie does an amazing job of separating people by Good Christians and Godless Atheistic Heathens. With the rational and characterization in this movie not believing in a God means you enjoy torture porn and host massive orgies where everyone refuses to say “oh God yes”.
The atheists in this movie are painted as a force of evil, constantly on the look out to shit on any Christian in their vicinity for the hell of it. They are completely self absorbed hate mongers that have no respect for their fellow man, insisting that the archaic belief structure of not only religion, but Christianity, is a waste of time.
Me again; stop wasting your time!
The Sorbo Professor shits on Wheaton, the Chinese foregin exchange student doesn’t compute it, Dean Cain even dumps his girlfriend when she says she has cancer. The movie plays Athiests as a red cape wearing, mustache stroking, analogy for the struggles of Christians in a Godless world.
big daddy Cain keeps his pimp hand strong
The reality: Not believing in God doesn’t automatically make somebody a complete asshole. There’s a slew of people that follow the rules and have ethical stances without a religiously based moral code or authority figure. Additionally, even though the Christian world believes the Devil is secretly influencing society in an ever present war between good and evil, the same isn’t true for Atheists. Matter of fact, Atheists don’t believe in God, so it’s not even a good guy, bad guy thing, they don’t care. It’s like somebody going to Europe and talking about how badass the New England Patriots are to a bunch of Real Madrid fans, nobody gives a shit.
- God is always personified, and Atheists hate him
One of my big beefs with religion is all over the place in this movie, the personification of a deity. That’s right, everyone refers to God as him and gives him a human like personality and feelings. Before we go on, lets just make it clear right now, if there was a God, IT wouldn’t give much of a shit weather you beat off in the privacy of your own house, or even if you put up little totems of the person who claimed to be IT’s son.
The next thing this movie does is takes those evil bastard atheists and pit’s them against God. Going back to my last point, Atheists don’t believe in God, so it makes no sense to have Sorbo pointing his finger in the sky and blaming God for all the bad that’s happening in his life. That doesn’t make him an Atheist, it makes him a Christian with a hang up.
Academia and the “academic elite” are consistently presented as caviar eating, sport coat wearing assholes that go out of there way to tell Christians how stupid they are. You would think they would save a few steps and just give them monocles and handlebar mustaches. It seems like the writer has the impression that becoming a college professor means you have to sacrifice a goat and take part in a pagan orgy to get tenure.
I remember my first snobby elite orgy
The reality: Although lots of Christians out there think reality is equal doses almighty fighting between good and evil, and practicing religion harder than your neighbor, some things just boil down to dumb luck, coincidence or chance. Atheists aren’t the devil, nor are they possessed by the devil. Science and Academics aren’t trying to disprove God, they are busy trying to prove things.
- A sneak peak into the racist mind of a conservative white Christian
Holy shit this movie has some blatant displays of racism and stereotypes strewn throughout the movie. Get ready, cause these caricatures aren’t exactly subtle, or spaced out, you get all of these within minutes of starting this circus of a movie.
does not compute
We have the over analytical, shy, awkward, calculated, and human robot contest winner that is a Chinese foreign exchange student.
I don’t care if this is small town America, wear it or it gets the hose again
The Muslim girl, that is routinely condemned and suppressed by her family. Oh yeah, she’s a closet Christian.
50% of my lines are: God is good always
The African missionary.
The fucking duck dynasty guy, who I don’t care what you think, is the Larry the Cable guy of life.
This movie goes out of it’s way to find ways to pander to the most racist close minded Christians it can find. They aren’t writing a movie, they are writing propaganda to reassure people who burn crosses and condemn their gay children. There’s nowhere in this movie where you can find a positive example of someone that isn’t an overzealous Christian.
- God’s Not Dead: You Are
I’m gonna get you heathen
This is by far the only part that can be construed as pretty bad ass, granted, you paint God as a brooding mob boss. For the next few paragraphs, I will switch to what I like to think of as an inside, undercover movie, God’s Not Dead: You Are.
God forgives… but I don’t
Sorbo goes through the whole movie, talking shit, trying to take God’s territory. Pandering to the followers of the cloth to denounce their deity and try his new shit, philosophy. God was losing territory, his numbers were hurting, so he sent the only man he could, Weaton. Sorbo slowly loses his mind, and his life as Weaton spins an elaborate web of religion around him, taking his wife, his job, and eventually his life.
Stop trying to make “fetch” happen Josh
The story comes to a dramatic end, when Weaton sets up the pieces for got to knock down, and it all comes crashing down on Sorbo as he looks into the rain and fades away.
Who’s dead now bitch
Damn, Gods a bad mother fucker.